Why are we shy?

First, there are a couple of things I would like to point out. Over the years, when I have complained to others that I am "painfully shy" they have said something about how they were shy once as well. That they "got over it" somehow. I never believed them. I disrespected their opinion by assuming they just did not understand the way that I am shy. I felt "They don't know what I'm going through."

The second thing is the word "pain" in the title of this tribe.

I am very recently coming out of a long (lifelong) pattern of constant self-pity and self-doubt. I was also a very negative person. The more I have focused my thinking on positive thinking and rejecting the temptation of the victim card, the more I have come out of my "shell". So tonight, it got me thinking. Am I truly shy? As in, do I actually have an affliction that most people do not have? Or was I just using "shyness" as an excuse to feel sorry for myself and stay protected in my negative little world? Well, my first answer to that is "Well maybe I am a little bit shy."

Well, hey, isn't everyone? The words of countless people over the years came back to me. I remembered being told they overcame it and learned how to be themselves and feel comfortable in the world we all share. And they must have done it similar to how I am doing it now. The more I accept and respect my world and the time I've been given here, the more self-assured I feel as a part of it. And this feeling is spilling over into social settings. It happens without me even having to think about it or make a struggled effort.

Maybe there ARE shy people. That have reasons behind it which are much deeper. Is it genetic? Upbringing?

I have come to the conclusion that I am no more shy than the average person. I was scared of the pain of truly living. I was guarding myself out of fear. I was selfish, to put it bluntly.