Dont know why but it did. Im not a shy person, I will be the first to admit it, and now that I am older and into my crone years, its really starting to show that I am that "crazy old aunt" everyone has.

I am a bellydancer, and have worked PR and teach (yes speak in front of people) for my job, which is civil service.

I guess the message I have is there are different types of shyness, not the Im afraid to show my face, kind of shyness, but being shy around the people you love, being shy to step up against the bullies in life, being shy to talk to people you are close to, even being shy around your spouse when it comes to being intimate... etc etc..I guess I fall into all of them at some point..

Shyness to me is a protection device, yes, if it means it will protect my ego, keep it from being bruised, or keep me out of the light and keep shit from sticking, I can be convieniently shy. This is normal.
What tools can I suggest? Well I have a mother is an undiagnosed socio phobic person, and I learned what not to do by observing her my entire life....here is what I have learned...

If you are shy, you will miss out on the most wonderful adventures. Yes, life sucks and you will sometimes be the fly and not the windshield, but boy what a wondeful ride to be the windshield sometimes!!!
Ask yourself, do you want to be in your death bed and say "I wish I had...blah blah blahed"
When I was young I must have seen some movie where some old broad did...
Find a hero that you can look at and emulate...(yes, even you adults). When I was young, it was George Plimpton..that dude did it all..and damn it, I was going to do it all....
Do not follow the lead of other shy people...kind of like, dont follow people off a cliff...
follow the people you respect and admire.
Will you fail sometimes? HELL YES!
Will your good moments be good? HELL YES< EXCEPT THEY WILL BE GREAT.

anyway..thats all I kind type at this late time. I think this tribe is pretty cool.
I hope my experiences and posts help someone even just a little....
posted by:
SandyFF
offline SandyFF
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  • Suns...
    Sunshine
    online 161

    Re: Not a shy person but this tribe appealed to me and called me in

    Sun, August 19, 2007 - 9:38 AM
    I consider myself shy but no one that knows me would ever describe me as such. I've spent years getting over my shyness, often in as extreme a manner as possible. I've never been able to do anything halfway and I've found that the bigger leaps are often easier than the shortest steps.

    I saw a great cheesy movie a couple years ago called "The New Guy". This geeky high school kid goes to prison to learn how to be cool then switches schools, completely reinventing himself in the process to become super cool leader of the new school. Yeah, I said it was cheesy. The point is, this actually works in real life, much more than one would imagine. Moving around a lot showed me that when people don't know you, you can be whoever you want. They don't know what you're afraid of. They don't know the mistakes you've made in the past. They only know what you show them. The power is entirely in your hands. Every day we can make a new choice, smile at one new person, and have an entirely different future open up in that instant.

    Namaste.
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      Re: Not a shy person but this tribe appealed to me and called me in

      Sun, August 19, 2007 - 3:30 PM
      That's why I find being online to be freeing,it's easier in ways allows you to spread your wings and interact with people you'd never otherwise would,yet I still very much consider myself shy,in person it's nearly impossible to get more than 2 words out of me,unless I really know someone then I'll talk their arm off,but loud and outgoing? Hardly.
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        Re: Not a shy person but this tribe appealed to me and called me in

        Sun, August 19, 2007 - 3:41 PM
        Another thing,I also feel that shyness isn't a curse or something to 'cure' in most cases,it's simply an essential part of how someone is and how they relate.You try to force someone to be and act in ways they aren't they'll hate you and resent you and hate themselves and feel inferior.Which to me is flat out wrong,we're all unique and different and should never be clones.Helping someone is one thing,expecting them to be something they simply arent isn't fair or right.Accpet them for who they are or leave them alone.Not attacking anyone here,just expressing my feelings.
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  • Re: Not a shy person but this tribe appealed to me and called me in

    Sun, August 19, 2007 - 3:30 PM
    "Do not follow the lead of other shy people...kind of like, dont follow people off a cliff...
    follow the people you respect and admire.
    Will you fail sometimes? HELL YES!
    Will your good moments be good? HELL YES< EXCEPT THEY WILL BE GREAT. "

    And you may as well tell an alcoholic "Just stop drinking."

    One of the purposes of this group is to avoid the overly simplistic solutions like "Shy? Just stop being that way and life will get better." I understand that you're trying to be helpful, but when you tell us "Don't be shy", you're not helping anybody.
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    • badfish
      badfish
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      Re: Not a shy person but this tribe appealed to me and called me in

      Mon, August 20, 2007 - 8:36 PM
      When I was in my 20's and cared more about things like attracting the opposite sex or who liked me and who didn't I used to think that if I act like I didn't care I would be mysterious and that would peak people's curiousity and that might make me attractive. But then I reached the point were I realized I wasn't really acting all along because I really didn't care much who liked me or who didn't or if someone wasn't or was attracted to me. I'm exaggerating because everyone cares and wants people to like them but that desire to be accepted should never stand in the way of your own happiness. Because if happiness is what life is all about, and you can't change who you are or what you look like, then caring too much if other people like you can just block you from reaching your goal. ...or maybe that is just my own warped way of looking at things.
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