Do people think you are rude, aloof or angry?

It's weird when people pick up on it, truly...because a lot of us shy folks work so hard to hide it. When someone is that perceptive, I think, "Oh, great. He/she is probably reading my thoughts like they're written across my face." I guess that people think I'm aloof, or not very approachable, because they won't start talking to me until they've had a couple of drinks, or they realize that they know someone who knows me.

or 'mean' or 'scary'?

*snicker*

Not only shy but also quirky and okay with all of it...

But it intimidates some and after exchanging a few conversational questions they find out I'm retired military and REALLY have nothing to do with me - too bad, they lose!

Cuz I'm prolly the sweetest most generous non demanding nor judgemental person they'll ever meet...

I too tend to get "mean" and "scary." I'll admit that when I was in high school, I worked to cultivate these adjectives because they were a great defense against the rednecks who would have otherwise wanted to fuck with me on a daily basis. Nowadays, it's not so useful.

i can relate to you on that one ... when i relax my face i look like i'm sad or angry. my ex used to always think i was in a bad mood when i was feeling extremely content .. i have to constantly make a conscious effort to sorta 'pose' my face to seem neutral or just not sad!

I get aloof, angry and intimidating. On the street, I get guys all the time telling me to smile, and at work people asking me, "What's wrong? Are you mad?"

My bestest guy friend when we first met and worked together (for about a month) told me that he always thought that I was too serious/mad/unfriendly and therefore intimidating. After the project was over, he found out that I wasn't. He's from Melbourne and is now in Montreal, and we IM almost every day. He always tells me, "You have to smile more, Eleanor". Ugh-I'd feel like the Joker if I did.

that happens to me all the time. i put so much thought into each thing i'm going to say and ponder whether or not i should even say it that by the time i decide to, it's too late... i watch how other peoples' conversations flows so effortlessly & can't imagine how it would feel to talk without analyzing each thing before it comes out ..

'I yam what I yam' but it pisses me off when I yam not what people accuse me of being.
Sometimes, when in a group, I just wanna yell, 'stop your yammering, already.'
I am not rude, aloof or angry by nature but meaningless yammering is so ____. (fill in the blank w/ negative adjective)
Simply, silly (quotation fingers in the air) bugs the helloutta me. Let's create a bumper sticker that reads, 'I don't do small talk.'
On second thought, I'll take the earrings.

Mis Understood

I always get accused of being reclusive, and private. but I like small talk when I can do it , I think its a skill Ive had to work on though. I think people have many different ways of communicating verbally. Ive dealt with people who claim to be introverted and like to delve into really personal subjects right off the bat which is thier style of communicating because they say, they hate small talk. I dont know its all relative.

yeah. some of my wife's friends have told her they are scared of me. (!) and i get told by close friends that i come across to those who don't know me as aloof. i don't worry about it much anymore. what is much worse is expending the emotional energy required to put on a "social" face so others will think you are happy and friendly. (which i may well be of course, just not expressing it the way our simplistic, monolithic culture requires).

Well, I'm often told to smile too. Except I am smiling. Guess I don't have much of a smile. :-S

I have superpowers. I can piss ANYONE off in a matter of minutes, often without saying a word.

Haaa, that made me laugh! In the realm of super powers, maybe that's a good one to have? ;-)

Well, my powers aren't quite there. I can piss people off in a matter of seconds. But I usually have to say something. And I'm not talking about inflammatory words. Just normal things that somehow manage to piss them off.

I've been called stuck up, arrogant, aloof. Sometimes mean. Oh yeah, and stuck up.

I'm generally a 'smiler', but of course I have to warm up to you first. Keep in mind that impressions are made in the first ten seconds, so I guess it's usually too late at that point.

Not that I give a f--- anymore.

Same for me Brian.It's frustrating and depressing,because inwardly I'mgenerally not that way at all,online it's easier to express that side of me.out in the world it's another story,it doesn't matter how nice I am,or how I smile and try to strike up small talk...I feel like I'm wearing and iron mask or something.I always walk away feeling misunderstood at times or ignored.I wonder if it isn't my perception of things,feeling that I'm being ignored or disliked when in actuallity it's not that way at all(when others in my life have set me straight on how they see the situation).It's an odd feeling when I have ran into people that won't look me in the eye and seem nervous,but someone else walks up to me and seems totally comfortable around me,friendly and easygoing.I feel like writting it off as mabe so and so wasn't haveing a good day,or feeling unwell and that I shouldn't take it so personally.Not to mention I myself have run into people I just plain didn't like and couldn't stand to be around,so who's to say others haven't felt that way around me in return?Don't know if that helps at all,just my experience.