I only have as many insights as anybody else here, but I posted the other day that,

"There might be 2 ways to solving a case of a way of thinking causing some discontent I guess.
1. Work to gently change the situation you are unhappy with.
2. Slowly challenge whether you need to feel negative about the situation all the time - is it helpful?"

I am pretty unimpressed sometimes with being shy & I can see how this negative way of thinking doesn't really help - mostly up until now I've tried to focus on trying to be less shy - it's a total twist on things to try and be a bit more accepting of it.

- am really interested too to here what part of being shy makes people lurrve themselves even more : )

here's mine:

I'm proud to be shy because I generally listen to people rather than just waiting for my time to speak.

Perhaps it's drawing people toward oneself instead of knocking them over with being in their face all the time,magnetic rather than direct...both have their place,but not to excess.At least to me it feels this way,if everybody was the same it would be so boring.

Totally agree with what everyone's said. The shyness is a positive thing because it allows my great listening skills to take over and people I care about always feel comfortable sharing with me. I used to resent this but now I see it as a gift that the universe has given me.

It has also shaped the way I like to engage in relationships (with anyone): slowly. I like to reveal myself over time. I know people who have diarrhea of the mouth, sharing every single part of themselves to everyone. My shyness allows me to pick and choose who I will share my thoughts with.

I don't know if it makes me more "mysterious" and "alluring" but I do know that people who are getting to know me end up being constantly surprised at what they find out because "you never told me that!" Well, you never asked. You were too busy talking. :-)

Apparently you have never met anyone attracted to you at least partly because you are shy. I am very attracted to guys who are very shy. The more shy, the more attracted I feel. Shyness is hardly the only thing that might attract me to a guy. I have the usual number of attributes and eccentricities that might turn me on or off, but shyness will definitely not turn me off. I find shyness in a guy so attractive that I am wondering if I shouldn't describe it as a fetish.

I am not shy at all. If I am with a guy, who is straight or gay, and he blushes easily, I get so turned on that I find it to be a problem, unless, of course, he is attracted to me as well. His shyness doesn't make him seem mysterious to me. It makes him seem sweet, kind, gentle, delightful and just my type, especially when I have made him blush without much effort.

The two biggest problems I have with shyness is that it can keep me from getting or staying in touch with the guy, even if he finds me attractive, and the shyness disappears too easily when in the company of someone who finds it so very attractive.

I have gay friends who are turned on by shy guys too, but not as much as I am. Anyone reading this who wants to know more, let me know. If you are too shy to e-mail me, ask a friend to do it for you.

Shy people tend to be paitent (at least I am!). I find that a quality that is becoming harder and hard to find anymore in our modern lives.

Shy people are not aggressive. There is no desire to conquer, or to make life a competition.

I find that as it is with women I have crushes on that my shyness is a pretty good indication that while I may be afraid to speak for fear that I might make a fool of myself, and that "mystery" is there, it is fleeting since my skittishness as a carefully-crafting man is always exposed over time.

And so, I would say that shyness disallows one to be oneself and so I am not inclined to regard this kind of mystery as anything more than the attractive cover of a book that has only one facet, that of a gushing, infatuated man, whom the ladies view upon this revelation as Ho Hum.

'Shy people tend to be paitent (at least I am!). I find that a quality that is becoming harder and hard to find anymore in our modern lives.

Shy people are not aggressive. There is no desire to conquer, or to make life a competition.'

yea I agree, and I think most shy people are also nice/sensitive/good listeners/think before speaking? quiet (:o could be a good thing sometimes.. some loud people can't stop talking and are very annoying)