Yeah, kinda like an "ice breaker". :)

I find groups overwhelming,prefer a small circle of people and even then it's rough sometimes.With some people it's easier than others.I feel frustrated with myself because of it.Small talk is fine untill the lull...then I get uncomfortable and want out and feel embarrised.It's a real pain when trying to get to know somebody and feel totally toungetied.Even worse when he's as equally shy.*sigh*.Somewhat of a newbie,haven't been here in awhile.

Relax.

It sounds easy but it is a process, you start by practicing relaxation techniques long before you have to interact with anyone. When you're not sleepy but energized, sit in a chair, lose all the tension in your body. Practice feeling like this most of time. Start with your right arm and just release all the tension in it. Then you’re left arm and hands, then your forehead, jaw, face, then your gut. Really go slow and notice every sensation. Sinking more and more into the chair. You have to be comfortable so a chair where your can sit your arms at your sides. You have to practice breathing too. Breathe in breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Say things to yourself like "My right arm is light and loose, "I can feel the blood flowing in my right arm." If you experience a tingling sensation then it’s working. Tingling is good. Before you know it, you will feel in charge of your actions.

This is working for me right now as I type this. So then, when you get into these social situations, you can relax yourself and feel in control.

Say things to yourself like "I am in control" "I can do this. I've done it before. I will do it again".

Avoid saying I will not panic or anything with negativity, let your brain think of this as a positive situation. Not what will not happen but what will happen.

Nervous energy in social situations is normal so I've been reading. It's how we handle the nervousness that gives us social anxiety. It can drive us and be the fuel for excitement in our interaction or if we focus too much on it, it can be what scares us. Like a racer who is getting ready to run, he feels butterflies in his stomach, too, but he will turn that into the drive that wins the race. Maybe we’re just so intense we’re afraid to bring all that to the stage! I know that’s how I feel at times, I dunno. We let the nervousness take over and begin to fear the symptoms that comes along with the nervousness. We fear our symptoms like, stuttering, sweating, loss of concentration, depersonalization (or out of body experience), as much as we fear the interaction.. as I've been reading, and so we shut down and avoid those interactions until we just don't communicate at all. And if it does happen and we panic, we are urged to ride it out and go with the flow. Eventually it will get easier and easier as we become more aware of what's happening, what symptoms we have, and what makes us feel that way.

If we just concentrate on the interaction between us and the people we're interacting with, we don't leave any room for doubts or nervousness. Instead, we worry more about how we look to people, what they’re thinking or feeling about us, which causes us to lose concentration and trail off and away from the interaction itself. And if we analyze too much beforehand we won’t do it at all.

My shyness story is a weird one, because I never knew I was shy, I would think of myself as an outgoing person and close friends and family know me as an opinionated wild child, with maybe a quiet introverted side but who's presence was not only dominant but noticed and well liked. Also, when people first meet me, never consider me as a shy person. I've been told "you're not shy, why did you.....?" It just so happened that in places like work or maybe a new guy I was into before I put him under my spell, of course, is where I felt vulnerable to the people’s opinions and when I experienced this anxiety, and what I did was when I felt vulnerable I would make up for it with bravado and maybe even arrogance. And I didn't notice it as much as the rest of the world did. I noticed one day my acquaintances were all telling me I was shy and I would think to myself "no I'm not". I was so shy or sheltered that I had hid that from myself deep down inside my self. And what was worse for my ego was that people saw both sides at the same time and looked at me as mean, and arrogant, stuck up and intimidating. Normally not a timid person when it’s just me and one other person, but around other people I become obsessed with every one around me, what their interpretation of me, listening to me speak to this one person, I let the situation not the people intimidate me. What I did notice was that during confrontations in front of a crowd or maybe just one person looking on, I would have that infamous nervous shake and not be able to control it. Also, I would become short of breath and in rare cases even not be able to talk, talk about anxiety! Far from the vibrant and outgoing person I consider myself around close friends. But I think that is what it really boils down to, shyness comes from people being afraid to be themselves for fear of how they will be looked at. You get this feeling of being exposed and that everyone can read you. But people are more concerned with how they’re coming across to you than whether or not you look shy or how you are performing socially.

So there's really nothing to fear but fear.
FEAR False Experience Appearing Real.

I'm taking the attitude now that I won't focus so much on how I am looking to every single person at every single time, because it will consume my thoughts. Instead, I'll identify with my self with appreciation, and be myself at all times, like it or lump it. Combine with the relaxation techniques, once I take that approach I am able to thrive in social situations by just simply letting my inner light shine through.

Also, practice makes perfect. Practice the art of communication. Talk to people in elevators or in line for no reason, pay attention to the exchange and then try to even enjoy it. Doesn't have to be a long, drawn out, forced conversation, but try to connect and feel comfortable. This is what I’ve been doing lately and it’s like a new game now. I feel empowered and in control of myself by doing this.