maybe he cheets on her.

Hi Marquis, this will probably be the last message I will be able to leave you until after Christmas, it's getting down to the wire now, and the wire is pinching me, lol.

"my grandma is a hateful, bitter, mean, and angry person. thats exactly how mom is - the mirror image." Yes a mirror image of what they were taught by their parents to be like. Are you seeing the connection yet? It's all getting passed down the line from parent to child! Don't you think it's time you broke your link of the chain? Native Americans say it takes 7 generations to remove a particular issue from the family tree. To do that, it takes healing, breaking the link in the chain is part of that healing, looking at what hurt us is another. As you can imagine, it takes a lot of links to make a chain!

"positive i am learning out of this. this experience is helping me learn not to be an angry person,"

How is it doing that?

"i would love to help anybody else who has been in my situation"

I think this is part of why people go through such horrible situations, the more we went through, the better we can help others.

"told me "i dont know how u managed to deal with it, but ur 21 and u should be proud for where u r today."

You can be proud of where you are today, you survived a lot!!!! Maybe it's time though for the next step in the process?

"as a teen, i came close to suicide and running away. i became severely depress whenever my mom and i fight over the silliest lil things! im always sick with headaches and stress."

It's hard to not feel depressed when you have only been told your whole life that you have no value, look at how strong a person you had to be to NOT attempt suicide! GOOD FOR YOU!

"i have even called CPS, not like they did crap. the police even came to my house to speak my mom about her probs, that is something i never knew about until junior yr."

CPS is limited in resources, and now you are past that, it is best to not dwell on what did not work. If it had worked, you would not have the opportunities you have today at your disposal, we would not be having this conversation for one. What opportunities? Time will tell.

"they called me out of class and told me. my mom said i am doing this cuz i cant have my way, if thats the case, then i would of destroyed other ppl including my own family since i couldnt "have my way" all the time. "

Your mother could not see past her own problems, she could not imagine how difficult it was for you because what she dealt with was all she had the energy for.

I believe we choose pre-birth the parents we have for what they can remind us we are here to heal and accomplish. Look at this following statement with that concept in mind:

"the direction its taking me is i feel like i am turning into my mom "

Of course you are, you choose her so she could remind you why you have come into this life, to heal these things because this life is not the only one you have experienced these things in. We cannot be expected to remember why we came here, so we choose certain people to be in our lives to help remind us and to help us overcome those obstacles! Like I am doing right now! That reminder has included in it the DNA predilections to go certain directions, seek certain things and accomplish certain goals. Even listening to certain people when they make sense to you like right now. Each of those attributes, just like in a video game, comes with their own set of limitations and problems to be overcome, but also with the tools needed to overcome and accomplish them. :) Cool eh? Life really is like a video game with levels to be accomplished before you can move on to the next level.

"the direction its taking me is i feel like i am turning into my mom which i dont wanna be. if a parent role models someone who is always angry all the time chances are the child or children might learn and apply it to their daily lives." Exactly! Breaking the links in the less than optimum chain is definitely a plus!

Your sister is a different person with her own levels to accomplish. She will NEVER understand, but she will come to appreciate your views one day as long as you continue to try to heal you "levels".

" i can easily go from nice to super mean in a minute because of thats how my mom is learned it from her. "

Yes, I know. And you may have learned it from your mom, but as an adult, it is now your responsibility to fix it. Blaming mom won't do that for you. Later on, as you heal, you will even be able to feel compassion for your mother AND your father!

"also, what do you think about a life coach helping me get through my problems?"

A life coach can do you a world of good! It takes commitment on both parts though, strong commitment!

"i am interested in healing techniques, but how can i be a positive happy person when i have to deal with the negativity at home everyday?"

Because it is your home environment that becomes your ''video game', your proving grounds and your practicing location. You will learn while you heal how to deal with things without intentionally hurting the people in your life. It takes work, a lot of it and practice, it takes as long as it takes and no longer or shorter. No one can predict that for you. But it is about self-empowerment and self-empowerment is nopt about how to get it over on another person. It is about feeling good about being you and knowing the direction you are headed without doubt. It's a lot, that's why it takes as long as it takes and why it cannot be predicted.

"how can healing techniques apply to that?"

It won't take long for you to understand how healing techniques apply to it.

"i really dont see how my dad can deal with such a complete, unhappy, know it all, i know more than u, i dont care about u or ur feelings bitch for a wife!! how he is not an angry person because of my mom!"

When you commit to yourself, your own healing, your own empowerment, you will need to understand that it is not your job to understand those things. But your healings and what you learn will help them...because you choose to heal, your whole family will grow in some areas and heal in some areas. But you must understand that is not your concern!

Have a wonderful holiday! See you all after Christmas! Blessings, Spirit Wolf